Well, it took Addison forever to even grow hair, but after it started growing it kept coming in. She was a baldy until about 17 months and then her hair came in slowly but it was better than nothing. She didn't have much but she grew a lot right on the top of her head. It wasn't really getting longer just thicker. So we decided that we should get it trimmed up and looking a little better, because there wasn't any way to fix it.
I decided to take her in to the lady who I have used since I was about 3. Her name is Suzanne and she has always cut my hair. Addison was very well behaved while she got her hair cut. She really sat there like a little lady. She was very proud of herself when it was all over with. I was too; what a beautiful girl the Lord has given me take care of.
* The black eye came from running into a new entertainment center that we put in the play room, she ran right into it. Poor baby but she sure is tough.
Since my Dad passed, I have just had these feelings of loneliness and despair about how do we go on with our day to day life without him here? Although we were never really close, I feel as though there was so much left unsaid, more that I could have done and we were finally starting to have a relationship. To have that all taken away when you thought you had more time sucks! That is all I can say, it sucks!
It has really brought me to a horrible place of depression that I don't want to be in. I here songs and they make me think of him and how I always longed for his love. I see my kids growing up without Pa, my dad. I miss him just calling to check on the kids and just to talk because he never really got out. I will miss taking him treats and seeing him sitting on the bench outside our house every time we drove up and left. It is so lonely.
I will never hear his voice again. I will never get to hug his neck and tell him I love him. He won't get to see my kids grow up or me graduate college which he was so excited about. He wasn't here for Easter and he won't be here for Father's Day. How do you celebrate Father's Day without your own biological father?
I just want this hurt to go away, there is nothing I can do and no one who really understands. God truly comforted and gave me peace during the process, but what do I do now that everyone is gone and we are living and he isn't here? I just wish I had more time! I know that it was just his earthly body but I wonder every day, will I ever see him again?
Psalms 147:3
He heals the broken heartened, binding up their wounds
I know it will take time, but I just want this to be over. I know I will be sad but I don't need it to affect my family. I know God will help me overcome this, I just have to give it to him. This song has been on my heart and I am not quite sure why but it does give me hope.
